(HTD) With Guys: Part One

So we've had our fair share of guys and we understand just how frustrating they can be. Most people say guys say exactly what they mean, and that's pretty much true. Girls are just the fucking retards who twist everything they say to have potentially 1,000 different meanings. So here's our code to cracking guys' cryptic messages they send our way. We hope this helps you in your quest to skip out on all the douches you would have otherwise been forced to date.

If he texts you:
"I have to help my mom with something": He's playing video games
"Sorry, I was sleeping": He was playing video games
"I'm just hanging with the guys today": He's playing video games with his friends
"I don't really feel like going out tonight,": He wants you to come over and watch him play video games

If he says to you:
"Nothing's wrong": Nothing's wrong
"You look pretty today": You look pretty everyday
"I promise": He promises
"I really like your friends": Your friends are cool


Okay, okay, enough of our sarcasm. Basically, stop over thinking everything. Guys don't care enough to come up with sneaky ways to tell you things that actually mean something else. They don't want you to have to guess what they really mean because that means less time to play video games or, like, feel you up.

Basically, guys think about three major things 1)Food 2)Video Games & 3)Sex. If you give your guy a sandwich and blow him while he simultaneously plays COD, you're golden in his eyes. However, if you're just starting out with a guy, blowing him on the first date may send him the wrong message. Stop being so slutty, girls. Guys will get bored of you, fast. Think about this:

A guy buys a video game when it's brand new and looks really awesome. He take said video game home and plays it all night until he finally beats it. That guy then brings the game back to gamestop and trades it in for a new game to play.

Do you want to be the easy video game? We think not. Just as there are millions of video games out there, there are millions of girls. Way more girls than guys, actually, so you better close your fucking legs if you ever want to get a husband.

We know it's hard to believe that guys actually mean every word they say and that there is no bigger picture, but it's true. If you take everything a guy says literally, you will have a successful relationship. If you try to decipher every fucking word that comes out of his mouth, you will not only drive yourself insane, but you'll also drive him out the fucking door.


So for now

HTD #06:Guys say what they mean, so go make him a sandwich and shut the fuck up