(HTD) With Obession: True Blood

Regardless of the fact that this show is literally kinky porn, we are fucking obsessed with TrueBlood. And, because everyone is obviously like us, you must be obsessed, too. And probably squirming at the fact we have to wait almost another month for season 6 to premier. So to help you deal with this obsession we're going to drool over all the beautiful characters, and shit on the ones we can't stand. We're obsessed, deal with it.


Sookie Stackhouse. If you don't at least like her then why even bother watching the show living? Not only does this girl have two hot fucking vampires craving her delish blood, but she can also read people's minds and see their memories. We don't know about you, but we'd fucking love to know what everyone is thinking around us, just so we can call them out on all their bullshit. Also, we just love Ana Paquin ever since she was that random groupie chick in Almost Famous; you know, the one with the gap in her teeth? We're not going to go into much detail, god forbid you haven't watched all the episodes yet, but to sum it up, we fucking love her. And we're kind of jealous we cant spew lightening beams from our palms, also.


While we loved Bill in the first few seasons, he kind of turned into a huge dick once he became King. Not to mention, he totally ditched Sook and that's not cool. We don't really care if it was because he loved her, either way we got our secret desire out of it: Sookie hooked up with Eric. Also, he loses some points for being kind of short. He's only a few inches taller than Sookie, and she's probably really short. And when they were all hopped up on that vampire's blood, Bill was quick to jump on Eric's back; we guess he wanted to know what it felt like to see the world from a man's point of view. Okay, we're a little biased towards Eric, shut up.



Ugh, talk about being fucking obsessed. He's literally the hottest guy on the show, with Alcide running a close second--but Eric's a vampire and he's going to live forever, so he wins by a long shot. He also fucks his sister, which is kind of weird, but pretty bad ass, in a storage container and makes pussy Bill wait outside. We loved him when he lost his memory and was all lost, cute puppy with Sookie, but when he gets back to normal he's just all around perfect. Even though Sookie's a bitch and dumped both him and Bill, we know deep down in our hearts they will be reunited. And if you've read the book and know for a fact that's not true--keep it to yourselves, we're not fucking interested.


Ugh, Tara. We can't even. Her only redeeming quality is that she's a vampire now. But still, ew.














Pam is our fucking bitch, we love her to death. She doesn't give a fuck about anyone, runs a successful business (when Eric's not around) and actually give some appeal to Tara. She's the only one who sees through Sookie's innocent bullshit, even though we love Sookie, we appreciate a good bitch. We're not totally sure if Pam's a lesbian or not, although she never has a guy and has been seen eating out a human girl. Either way, we love her and her need for couture.




We know that there are sooo many other characters we could go into, but we're just really lazy and don't feel like remembering all of them. Except Laylay, we love us a good gay outspoken character. So below we have a youtube video of our fave Lafayette moments.