Because it's Sunday, we're going to share with you our obsession with the next best show to TrueBlood, Game of Thrones. You kind of get the way we deal with our obsessions, and that's going through the best of the best in the show--and making fun of a few that we can't stand. Game of Thrones, if you live under a fucking rock, takes place in like, England, or somewhere (we don't know, everyone has different accents), and it's about the Starks in the North fighting to take back the Capitol King's Landing from the sucky Lannisters, who suck. A lot of other shit happens, too, including another fam lead by our fave bitch Daenerys Targaryen who has a whole bunch of dragons and shit. So here's our fave characters...
Robby Stark is our fave King in all of Game of Thrones. Not only is he really hot, but he's also really hot. He gets named the King of the north and captures Jaime Lannister all in, like, one episode. He also fucks old tradition and marries this really hot bitch when he already promised his dick to some bridge people. Not only is he just an all around badass, but his name is also super chic because it's got two B's. Robb is definitely one of our favorite guys of the show, except we bet Mother's Day is kind of awk for him and his mom since he put her in jail...
Arya Stark...blah blah...runs away...blah blah...has that hot friend...blah blah...needs to grow her hair out...blah blah....might be a lesbian?...blah blah...we don't really care...blah blah...we might fast forward through her scenes sometimes...blah...
Omg, words can't describe how much of a love-hate relationship we have with Joff. On one hand he likes watching prostitutes beat one another instead of having sex with them, but on the other he's marrying that hot bitch Margaery, and actually listens to her and becomes slightly a better person. He's only, like, fifteen, so we're cutting him some slack, but all in all he's kind of a pussy. Like, when his kingdom got attacked her an to his mommy and let Peter Dink take the lead. So lame. But, Margaery is really hot and wears slutty clothes, so we like her. And she might be able to put Joffrey in his fucking place, or just take over the kingdom all together, either is preferred.
Oh Jon Snow. Our fave (used to be) virgin. We feel kind of bad you had to lose it to an orange bush, but hey, when you're in the negative degree mountains, we don't blame you. We're so glad he got out of the King's Watch, even though he's technically a spy/infiltrator, whatever. We think he's just gonna end up becoming a free man, and we'd be fine with that. He's so cute, we can't even. He doesn't really do anything wrong in the show...so far, so we love him all the more. He's just really attractive, basically, that's why we love him so much.
We fucking love Khaleesi/Daenerys/Mother of Dragons...She's fucking hot, has a whole army of men who will literally do anything she says, and she has fucking dragons. We can't wait for her to just destroy King's Landing and take everything. Not only is she, like, really pretty, but she has really great hair. They all kind of do, which is weird cause it's like 1804 and nobody had bobby pins or flat irons...weird. While we loved the Khal, we feel kind of bad that Daenerys won't love that guy back. You know, the old one who follows her everywhere and does fucking everything for her. Like, come on, you can't even throw him a beej? 
Tyrion Lanister: He's the short guy who likes prostitutes. And he gets his face slashed by his sister. SOMEONE has a tough fucking life.
Sansa Stark: Ugh, she annoys us for some reason. Like, you're dumb enough to believe they're not going to cut your dad's head off and you do everything they tell you? You deserved to take a backseat to Margaery, at least she knows what the fuck she's doing. We also think Sansa is a fucking retard if she goes away with Little Finger, but we will feel kind of bad if she has to marry Tyrion.
Queen Cersei: She's evil, has sex with her brother and all her kids are bastards and inbred and now I guess she's on crack. Cersei sucks, and we hate her. She killed the King before her husband (or her twin brother did, whatever) and then had him kill the King's hand so she could get Neddy Stark up there and just kill him, too. She's the definition of "the worrrrstttt".
These are the characters we love/hate, and we know we didn't even begin to cover half of them. They're are so fucking many we don't know if we have enough time to cover them all. If you really want to see them, just watch Game of Thrones tonight on HBO at 9...or 10? Or is it on Showtime? Whatever, we're not your fucking TV Guide.
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